no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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