The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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