HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just gargled with NyQuil
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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