Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
