Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
