I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
