i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
