He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
