Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
