I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize