she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
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It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I didn't notice because vodka
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
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I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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