? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
