I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
