I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
