Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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