Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
