when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
