the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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