He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
