i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
