a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
