I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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