I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
