He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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