I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do vagina's smell?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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