Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
