I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
