It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
