Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
