Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
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And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
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i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's