I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it