you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
