walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
