she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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