Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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