is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
