it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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