So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
