I swear she didn't look like that last week.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
