fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
