I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
