OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
