I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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