I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
