The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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