I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
