I'm pants shitting drunk right now
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
