It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
