I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
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I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
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Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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