hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
