Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
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Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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