Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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