i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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