she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
