I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
