u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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