What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Nobody cheats on THIS.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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