Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
