Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Can I color on your dick again?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
