Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
