Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
