The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
