She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
