Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
