your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
